You know that feeling when you know that a guy fancies you or when your crush likes you back? I think it's really wonderful because just when you are thinking that you look like a piece of junk, you can console yourself and say that you are not, at least there are still guys who will fancy you. I don't know but it's like a boost of self-confidence and self-esteem (are they the same? lol). Don't you agree with me? It's like even if all the girls think that you are ugly as hell, when there is even only just one guy who fancies you, all the other girls' comments don't matter any more. Is it just me or...?
If I typed those out, surely I've felt those feelings before... right? Yeah, I used to. It's not that I like a lot of guys liking me, it's just that it's good to know that at least I'm not that horrible looking. I used to have a crush and I've even chit-chat with him everyday for a period of time and that really boosted my self-confidence.
Honestly, ever since I lose contact with all guys (I sound like a whore but please don't misunderstand me!), I start to have lesser confidence in myself in terms of my appearance. That's also the reason why I started to become inactive on Instagram because I think I look like shit. Again, honestly, I really like having many people liking my photos. I don't know about other people but it makes me happy. Do I sound very attention-seeking? I don't know... I am envious of those girls who look so pretty effortlessly and whenever they post a picture of themselves, within a few minutes, they have already gotten so many likes.
Sometimes I tell myself that all those things doesn't matter and even my sister told me, the purpose of Instagram is not having your photos gain many likes but share with your followers about cool things or just random things and also a picture update of your current state. It's right too... So I'm really trying to change my mindset and start to get active on Instagram again hahaha. This is like a "getting active again in Instagram" post but NO.
I'm just sharing about what kind of person I am and mostly just reflecting on this awful side of myself.
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