31: Term break

Hello guys! (and girls) The term is finally coming to an end and that means, 1 MONTH HOLIDAY IS HERE! I'm so excited because finally I can relax for a lil' bit and have fun! BUT! Before all those fun starts, Chinese O'levels is in a few days. To be honest, I am not very scared of it because I can do rather well for my Paper 1 (At least a B4). As for Paper 2, I am worried. Like, very. Because after all those mock exams, I compared my marks and realised I'm like a roller-coaster. We had 6 mock papers and 

1st paper: 45/70 2nd paper: 42.5/70 3rd paper: 45/70 5th paper: 49/70 6th paper: 39/70 

And apparently the last paper was the worst. I had no idea what was I doing. I literally felt like sleeping throughout the whole 1.5 hours of paper but I forced myself to get up and finish the paper. Hopefully this doesn't happen to me during the actual paper. :( I really want to get over and done with Chinese so I can concentrate fully on my other subjects. 

I really hate doing comprehensions when those passage are so boring! I like to read those kind of father /mother and son/daughter conversations or between friends or just some lesson learnt after that, rather than those chinese soap opera or whatsoever thing. Those kind of passages gets me really sleepy and I won't feel like doing the paper. Whatever it is, hoping for the best! 

On the other hand, as mentioned, holidays are coming! I really can't wait. I have plans all lined up and more to come! Hopefully, fingers crossed, they will be carried out successfully. What I can't wait is to meet this cutie fishball girl of mine!!! 

This picture was taking in 2012 and we look so weird hehehehe.

It's been a long time since I meet her and I've got lots of things to tell her since we sorta paused our letter writing thing because we were busy with exams and stuffs. I MISS YOU.

More baking sessions over at Nadiah's house, zoo and whatsoever thing. And, some shopping-alone time for myself too. Yay I totally can't wait. 

Of course, more revisions too. Gotta buck up, I really have to. Probably some study dates too. I will not laze around or keep using my phone while studying...... I will not........... 

Sports day is tomorrow, looking forward! Actually, I'm looking forward because I can finally get to use my fisheye lens. Whoop whoop! All the best to my class! I will update again tomorrow, with more pictures! See ya!  

30: Dependent

I've always thought that my life would be better if I had a boyfriend who loves me more than anyone, because at least I won't feel like my world is meaningless when my friends don't even care about me at all. But it never came across my mind that there is still a possibility that his feelings towards me will fade and leave me like how the others did, until now. I'm so tired of people making use of me, coming and going away as and when they like. I'm so tired of feeling worthless each time I feel left out. I wished I could survive alone, just by myself buy I can't. I need my friends but, do they even need me as much as I do? I doubt so. You see, no one needs me in their life and that makes me feel so worthless and then I'm constantly sad. Sometimes it annoys the hell out of me. When can I stop feeling sad? I just want to be happy but it's so difficult. Whenever I start to get so happy, something just have to happen and, baam, I'm back to being sad all over again. 

29: Updates on B O R I N G L I F E

The cheerleaders + me. Hahaha!

I have no idea why the pictures' quality is so horrible. :( 

Hello everybody, I'm back again! 

1. I'm done with MYE like finally and also received back all my results. Hmmm, what do I say? I haven't worked hard enough for MYE so I don't have rights to feel sad about it. Passed English, Chinese, E-Maths and Combined Humanities, but failed A-Maths, Combined Science and POA.
   
   To be honest, I've already expected my results to be like this because I really didn't revise enough. The thing is, this is the first time I'm failing POA and I swear I feel like boxing myself because whatever that came out in the paper was taught before and I can actually forget how to do. This is so dumb I really want to slap myself for giving away so many marks.
   
   Secondly, I had so many careless mistakes for my both my A-maths paper 1 and 2 that I could have passed if not for them. This is really so frustrating man!!! Just that 4 more marks and I could have passed my A-maths already. Grrrrrrrrr. Actually, I haven't passed A-maths before since Sec3 that's why I'm dying to pass this time because the papers were rather manageable for me. How do I work on making less careless mistakes. Sigh. But good thing is, I guess I've improved.
   
   Also, I failed my English paper 2 but thank god my paper 1 saved me. I've always been so lousy in Comprehension so that wasn't a surprise for me.
   
   Sciences, needless to say, I've always sucked at them. But I was so close to passing this time round! Actually, I kind of boosted my confidence so I'm gonna work harder for a pass! At least a pass before I can even think about acing it.
   
   
2. Sports day heats #1 just passed and I was involved in the 3000m run finals. Trained once with Chelsea and we ran for the same speed throughout! But on that day she left me alone during the last 300m. :( Oh well, I can't blame her because I was really dying and couldn't increase my speed anymore. At first we thought she got 3rd position and 4th for me but we got it all wrong! She was 4th and I was 5th. Damn! Before I forget, my friends went to support me after school while I was running! They even bought me my favourite Iced Lemon Tea. The way they cheered for me was so cute I wanted to laugh so much while I was running but had to control or else I'll lose my stamina. Really thank them so much. I feel so loved! :) Really thank people who cheered for me because they really helped me. I wanted to stop running so badly because I was having stitches on both sides! Argh, pain.
   
   Next event, which is on Monday, 1500m again with Chelsea! Hopefully we can secure top 3! Or at least top 5. *crossed fingers* 

Okay, I think that's all! June Holiday is coming! I can't wait to go town again. I know, it's not suppose to be a holiday because I have to buck up and drill. BUT! There's always a need to rest right...... After all, it's called a holiday so I suppose we are allowed to relax for a bit right? Hehehehe okay, till then! 

28:

Can't wait for O'levels to end and leave this place asap. Everything just makes my heart ache and sad everyday. 

27: idkwhat4

I feel so sad right now, I just want to talk to someone so badly but there's no one except for this space.

It feels like everyone finds me a nuisance and no one cares about me. This feeling has always been with me since centuries ago. Managed to ignore it once because at that point of time, I know that there are people who still cares for me. Now? Everything is different and I can really sense people finding me very annoying every time. Body language shows everything.

It feels like everyone is making use of me because I never once mattered. I don't get hundreds and thousands of likes for my picture be it on Instagram or Facebook. I don't have large amount of followers on Twitter. I am not even a popular person, why would people even give a fuck about me? Sometimes, people only notice my existence when their good friends are not with them. I don't even belong anywhere. I'm just fitting in everywhere and anywhere I can. Trying too hard to fit in, actually.

MYE has just started and I'm already letting all these emotions take control of me. I used to be so strong, I don't even get affected by all these emotions so easily in the past. What has happened? I don't like this version of myself. It's so hard to live with. I would gladly die right now if i could.

26: In a Nutshell

 Waiting for our turn to go on stage for Arts Fiesta rehearsal!

With Nazreenah, Nisa and Munirah.

 Full dress rehearsal for Arts Fiesta!

With Nazreenah, one of my favorite juniors! :*

 Another of my favorite juniors, Sofiya. :*

 That's Hanif in the middle.

 With the Kak Mun. :*

 Speak no evil, hear no evil, see no evil.

Hahahahaha.

Gwiyomi, hahahaha fuck that shit.

Decorating the hall for Arts Fiesta.

 Prata and Iced Milo after Fajar Run Day! Yumsssssssssss.

 Oh how I hate the iPhone4's front camera. Sucks like shit.

 On the actual day of Arts Fiesta. Horrible make up.

Nadiahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. :*

Prata before oral. Yumssssssssss. First time trying out cheese prata and it tastes heavenly good!

 Gelare before we get our engines started!

 A cup of hot chocolate while studying during a cold weather.

 Reading in the library on a Sunday after studying with Nadiah.

 In Uniqlo's fitting room hahahaha.

 Loving this Agnes B top that I bought at a flea a few weeks back.

Favorite pair of sandals.

Hi everyone, it's been sometime! Quite a number of things happened recently. Firstly, rehearsals for Arts Fiesta. Secondly, Fajar Run Day. Then the actual Arts Fiesta day, officially stepped down from CCA. And then, English oral for MYE and Prelims, then study date with Nadiah. 

Fajar Run Day is a day whereby the whole school goes to Japanese Garden to take their 2.4km NAPFA test! Results were out shortly after and I swear I was damn happy with myself because my position was 16th among the whole Sec4 and 5 cohort. Oh my gosh, that's really an achievement because I've always sucked at running. And because of that, my confidence boosted a lot and I foolishly went to participate in the 3000m and 1500m run for Sport's Day with Chelsea. Kinda regretting now I don't know why. Hopefully everything goes well. :( 

Arts Fiesta was a success and also a lil' sad because it was the last time I performed with my dear juniors. Gonna miss them so much! Now that I've stepped down, time to focus 100% on my work. No more excuses!

I felt that my english oral went quite well because it was my first time making the examiner laugh during conversation! But well, no high hopes. I just wish for a pass so that I can work even harder for my O level's oral!

Went for a study date with Nadiah a few days back. It's been a long time. We went to woodlands and wanted to study at Starbucks but sadly, it was full and we had no choice but to go to the library's cafe. Quite a productive day because I managed to complete most of my homework! After she went off for some family matters, I continue to study for another hour then went to borrow some books. I didn't felt like going home so I went to walk around Causeway Point. Finding an excuse for myself to relax because it's been a super super long time since I went shopping or roam around. I promise that's the last time before I take my O Levels! Or maybe at least before June Holidays. Hehehe. 

Currently, I'm suppose to be doing my Chemistry homework but I felt that I left this space empty for too long so yup. Heheh, and I really can't stand Chemistry. :( Everything is so confusing even with the help of notes. Damn it. All of these really pulls down my confidence. I keep thinking that I will not do well for my MYE. This is really scary even though Mrs Goh said that most students hope they do badly for MYE so that they can work harder and buck up during Prelims then work even harder for O Levels. I'M SO SCARED!!!!!! CHINESE O LEVELS IN ABOUT 1 MONTH'S TIME. OH GOSH TIME IS FLYING TOO QUICKLY I HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE I'M SO SCARED THAT I'M ABOUT TO GO CRAZY SOON. 

BYE EVERYONE. MUGGING TIME! SEE Y'ALL REAL SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON. :*