76: Have I changed at all?

All these reflections on 2016 got me thinking, how much have I exactly changed over the past few years?

2011, I had been a typical teenage girl, crushing on some (handsome) guy. Things did not worked out well but it has been an on and off thing for close to a year. Inside this dreamy teenage girl lies an emotional teenage girl as well. Emo tweets, attention seeking Facebook statuses, endless rants about specific people on blogger, we have all been through that (or at least I have).

I used to get so oversensitive over the littlest things, they always fuck with my head so much. I get consumed by them every damn time.

I was heartbroken (LOL), it was ridiculous considering the fact that nothing even ever started. (Told ya I was an oversensitive and over-reacting kid).

Had some stupid friendship problems too, this was normal at that age. Trust me. We were all so fucked up I'm starting to think if my generation will ever not be fucked up. Anyway, those friendship problems did not impact me as much because I kinda got used to being treated like an option, or rather, transparent.

You could tell my secondary school life was utter bullshit. I got through it anyway, so kudos to me.

2014, poly life!!! Here, I thought life was gonna change for good because I was (or still am, currently) enrolled into a course that I saw no familiar faces in. I was thrilled. Socializing all over again, which I hate with a passion even up till now, but it had to be done. Let's just say poly life was kind of shitty as well.

I'm not exactly done with it but seeing it is coming to an end, it is safe to say it's shit.

I've had my fair share of happiness but all the downs are not enough to cover up. All those downs made me remain the way I was/am. Oversensitive, over-reacting over the slightest issues, friendship problems, yada yada.

I'm still the same me, just that I don't do those embarrassing emo tweets/attention seeking Facebook statuses/ rants about specific people on blogger anymore.

I probably used more of my brain but sometimes (mostly) the heart wins.

No, actually I'm not the same me. The same me wouldn't have been so closed off to the world, she wouldn't have deleted people from her life. But I did. Over the years, I've basically become more anti-social and built up more walls.

Will I eventually be changed for the better in future? Well, who knows what the future holds.